


Sure Bet

by Tallulah_Rasa



Category: Highlander: The Series, Leverage, NCIS, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-01
Updated: 2014-07-01
Packaged: 2018-02-07 01:04:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1879152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tallulah_Rasa/pseuds/Tallulah_Rasa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone has cleaned out Fort Knox. NCIS investigates, sort of.  Originally written/posted in 2009.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sure Bet

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't find any NCIS/Leverage crossovers, much less NCIS/Leverage/SG-1/HL (I feel Parker, Amanda and Vala know each other. How could they not?), and obviously I had to do _something_. It might be a bit of stretch to imagine NCIS investigating this particular crime, but I figure a Marine might have gotten knocked out during the heist.
> 
> If you're not familiar with some of these shows: "NCIS" is about the federal agency which investigates crimes involving the Marines and/or Navy. Tony's a very good-looking senior agent with a frat boy persona and a deep-seated love of movies, Ziva's a Mossad assassin on loan to the agency, and Tim McGee's a computer whiz and junior field agent. Parker is the resident thief of "Leverage", and very enthusiastic about her chosen profession. Amanda, from "Highlander", is a beautiful, manipulative, sexy thief who happens to be immortal. SG-1's Vala is a lot like Amanda, except she's not immortal and she's from another planet.

_"I do not understand why Gibbs is having Tony do the interrogation," Ziva said, her voice echoing a bit in the small, dark observation room. "It is like putting the fox in the outhouse."_

_"Henhouse," Tim corrected automatically. "Though it's Tony, so 'outhouse' works, too."_

_"He should not eat bean burritos for lunch," Ziva agreed, peering through the one-way window into the interrogation room. "That never ends well. And I do not see how this can end well, either."_

_Tim shot her a look. "Fifty bucks says he folds in five minutes."_

_"McGee! Tony is my partner!"_

_Tim gave her an embarrassed nod and a "Sorry."_

_"I give him at least twenty minutes," Ziva added._

_Tim turned to her, incredulous. "Did you see what they're wearing? If those skirts were any shorter..."_

_"Fifteen," Ziva conceded. "Now, ssh! He's starting."_

_***_

"Okay. First, Ms. Mal--"

"Vala," Vala interrupted with a wide smile, followed quickly by a pout. "And I have to say again, I don't understand why we're here."

Tony tapped the file folders stacked in front of him. "You're here because we're investigating a crime perpetrated at a military facility, and you're both known associates of our suspect, a woman known as Parker."

"I don't see how _I_ can help you," Amanda said, affecting an air of innocence somewhat at odds with her thigh-high leather boots.

"Well, Ms.-- you know, we have sixteen aliases for you," Tony said, ratcheting up the charm with every word. "We could get along _so_ much better if I knew your real name."

Amanda leaned forward, which did interesting things to her shirt. "It's Amanda."

Tony sighed. "And your friend Parker's real name?"

"Parker."

"First or last?"

"Both."

"So...Parker Parker?"

"No," Amanda said. "Just Parker."

"Like Cher," Vala said helpfully.

"Right," Tony said. "So, when did you la--"

"Did you call General O'Neill, as I requested?" Vala broke in. "He can vouch for me. He'll tell you to stop this...this _inquisition_ immediately."

"Actually, I _did_ talk to the General," Tony said, meeting Vala's glare with a disarming grin. "He said I should feel free to hold you as long as I need to, and to -- and I quote -- 'make sure the chairs in the interrogation room are nailed down.' "

Vala made a face. "He might still be annoyed about that incident at the budget hearing. But I was entirely right -- he _is_ a very handsome man, and he _would_ look better in a powder blue uniform." She unleashed a huge smile and aimed it at Tony. " _You'd_ look very nice in a uniform, Special Agent DiNozzo."

"Or out of one," Amanda said thoughtfully.

"Um...ladies..." Tony began. His smile looked a little forced as he glanced toward the mirror that masked the observation room window.

***

_"You want to make it a hundred bucks, Ziva?" McGee hissed._

_Ziva muttered something about giving candy to babies, but nodded, her eyes never leaving the interrogation room._

_***_

"As much as I appreciate your friendly attitude," Tony continued doggedly, "we're in the middle of a criminal investigation, and--"

"You know, a nice massage would take your mind off your silly case," Amanda said, holding up both perfectly manicured hands and flexing her fingers.

Tony watched for a second and swallowed heavily. "So would my boss shooting me," he finally said. "And then throwing me out a window. Which is going to happen soon, because--"

"I'm sure you're overreacting," Vala broke in. "Trust me; I've been in some bad situations. Yours can't be all that--"

"Your friend Parker," Tony said over her, "robbed FortKnox, which, in case you'd forgotten, holds the gold supply that supports the U.S. monetary system." He peered intently at Amanda, and then at Vala. "I don't know how she did it, because every security camera in the place went out, and not one of the military personnel in the vicinity saw a thing. But unlike Goldfinger, she really cleared the place out. And when I say 'cleared out,' I mean there was nothing left. Zip. Zilch. Nada."

"Really?" Vala asked, and then, "Who's Goldfinger?"

"That's...impressive," Amanda said. "You're sure? Totally empty?"

"Well, except for a roll of aluminum foil and a wad of gum, but we don't think they're related to the crime."

Amanda raised an eyebrow.

"Really?" Tony flipped through a file and made a note. "Well, okay. But that's not really important, because we _know_ Parker did it."

"And how do you know that?" Amanda asked.

"She left a note addressed to the two of you," Tony said, opening another file and passing it over. "It said, 'I _told_ you I could do it!' and it was signed, 'Parker'."

"Oh," Amanda said.

"We had a bet," Vala confided.

"I had a feeling," Tony said. "Look, above and beyond all the PR issues, you can see how, given the current economy, this is kind of a problem for us."

"I have to admit, I hadn't thought of that," Vala admitted.

"We don't want to prosecute," Tony said earnestly. "I mean, there's nothing wrong with a friendly bet. But when it ends up cleaning out Fort Knox, then, you know--"

"You don't want to -- what _do_ you want?" Amanda asked.

Tony held out a cell phone. "Could one of you please get in touch with Parker and, uh...dare her to put the money back?"

Amanda and Vala exchanged a look.

"What's in it for us?" Vala asked, sitting back and crossing her arms. "I mean, there should be some sort of reward, don't you think?"

"Uhh...dinner?" Tony suggested, turning his most winning smile on Amanda, and then at Vala.

"And... _after_ dinner?" Amanda asked.

Tony's smile faltered just a bit. "A movie?"

Amanda glanced at Vala, and then she gave Tony a brilliant smile. "You've got a deal," she said, and she took the phone.

***

_"I...I do not BELIEVE this," Tim said, handing Ziva four crisp twenties and two tens._

_"He **is** unbelievable," Ziva agreed, though she might have been smiling as she took McGee's money._

_"You didn't think he'd pull it off, either! You said he--"_

_"I **said** ," Ziva repeated. "What a person says and what a person thinks may be two different things, McGee. You are a field agent, you should know this."_

_Tim sighed. "You and Tony set me up, didn't you?"_

_"Gibbs, Ducky, Abby, Tony and I are meeting for drinks later tonight," Ziva said. "You should join us." She waved McGee's money in the air. "You are buying."_

_Tim just nodded as they headed out of the observation room. "Better make it tomorrow. I have a feeling Tony's going to be tied up tonight."_

END


End file.
